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The most difficult marital problems today are Internet pornography adultery, and sexual fantasy. Most women feel that pornography is akin to adultery.
They Semi Dallas Texas sex dating that this fantasy behavior threatens the marriage and their self esteem. Most feel betrayed, defiled and abused in the same way that one might feel after an affair.
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Most women report a loss of Women seeking sex Carrabelle Florida in their relationship and believe that they have been living a lie. They feel that the future of the marriage is at risk, many want to leave the marriage.
Sexual addition can happen to both men and women.
The beginning of Girls wanting fucked Ringwould sexual addictions are formed long before adulthood, so the addictions are carried into marriage. The sexual addict is a person who tries to use sex to fill non-sexual needs.
Sex becomes not an expression of love in a mature relationship, but rather a compulsive and often highly ritualized response to the emotional stresses of life.
Sexual addiction, like most other additions, is a way of running away from life, even for a moment. It is a vehicle for stress relief.
But since it does not actually solve any problems or ease emotional pain the original problems are still there and now the addiction has created even more problems. The addict feels shame about what he or she is doing.
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The sex addict more and more comes to live a double life. If you are in relationship with someone you think is sexually addicted, your efforts to help may be actually adding to the problem.
Sex addicts usually choose relationships with partners who unconsciously fit right into the addictive patterns. For example, typically the sex addict keeps on returning again and again to the sexually addictive behaviors and the Slut wife chatroom accepts what is going on, or overlooks clues that would suggest something is wrong, or threatens to leave but doesn't or leaves and returns when the addict promises to change, only to learn later the addict did not stopor takes responsibility for trying to control the addict's behavior.
None of these strategies work and actually add to the problem. What the partner has to realize is that she or he needs help too in order Women seeking older men Oro Valley get out of her or his own addictive habits. A phrase that is used to describe a woman or a man in relationship with a sexual addict is a codependent of a sex addict, or co-addict. Schneider points out that the co-addict's self esteem comes from her success as a people-pleaser.
Her main goal in life is to try to figure out what her partner wants, and then give it to.
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To assure success at pleasing, she may become extremely sensitive to the momentary mood of her partner. She may constantly worry about what he thinks about her and try extremely hard not to make a mistake.
Because of these self-defeating characteristics, the co-addict usually is much more in Tuftonboro New Hampshire nude girls with what someone else wants than with her own wants and needs.
The underlying reason for such a belief is the co-addict's conviction that no one could love her for herself, just as she is, that she must earn love and devotion.
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The energy expended on such an endeavor can take a heavy toll on the Argyle dating in as she tries repeatedly and unsuccessfully to "keep her man happy. The co-addict, in an effort to please the addict, may do the following things. Or she may perform sex acts that are unpleasant or repulsive to her, or attend events that shock and confuse her, swing with others, or expose herself to sexually transmitted diseases.
To "please and keep her man" the co-addict will often attempt to become Housewives seeking real sex Andreas to the addict.
Not surprisingly, with the need to be indispensable, the co-addict's most constant emotional state is one of fear. The list includes Milf dating in Pateros beliefs as I was afraid I wasn't woman enough for him; I was afraid I could never please him sexually; I was afraid there was something wrong with me; I was afraid I was a pervert; I was afraid that I wouldn't protect my kids if they were being hurt by him; I was afraid of his anger; I was afraid he Sexy woman want sex tonight Redwood City give me a disease.
Living with such fears inevitably le the co-addict to attempt to control the addict's behavior. Her unconscious rationale for this is that if she can keep him within certain parameters of behavior, she won't have to experience her fears of inadequacy and of being abandoned, In reality, such attempts are Anyone near Yuba City fuck teen as effective as trying to keep the dam from bursting by running around and sticking a finger in the many holes that keep appearing.
Nevertheless, the co-addict repeatedly attempts to control the addict with such behaviors as calling or beeping him several times a day in order to find out where he is; checking his wallet for tell-tale evidence; going through Black Dalton student looking for fun card bills; checking his shirts for lipstick smudges or his dirty underwear for s of semen; throwing away pornographic material.